Taking a break from the Breast Cancer Theme Park for a bit, today's blog topic is "To Speak Out or STFU." I don't spend all my waking hours on Facebook, but the time I'm on there is used to either to share a laugh, get my weird news, read some of the snarky political posts and also to put my two cents in.
I have a few Facebook friends who don't share my progressive views and I do dare to debate the more insipid postings. My rules for dealing with dissenting viewpoints: No personal attacks, no potty mouth, no aggression, use politeness, and back up assertions from non-biased sources, links included. I admit that I am a die-hard liberal. Some people believe that liberalism is a disease. Consider me afflicted. My political leanings evolved from being raised in a Democratic household, and witnessing, over the last 10 years or so, the de-evolution of the Republican party from the semi-sane conservatives into the ideologically rigid and plain whack group of AstroTurf /Tea Party/Ayn Randian hypocrites of today. Not to say that there doesn't exist fringy liberals, I see plenty of postings about chemtrails, HAARP, Fema camps, developing a local currency because the dollar is going to fail, etc, etc. I usually don't respond to that, what could I possibly say? Conspiracy theorists abound on both sides.
What do I take to task? Blatant LIES. Now, I'm not one of the people who totally idolize President Obama. He's human, with all of the attendant failings. His insistence on bi-partisanship makes me nuts. Don't get me started on Afghanistan, health insurance reform compromises, or the accelerated federal assault on marijuana. BUT: If I see a posting about him not being a US Citizen and therefore a Kenyan treasonous impostor man-child who illegally resides in the "White" house, I will counter with some serious logic. When I see a posting claiming that Obama has accomplished absolutely NOTHING during his tenure so far, I post lists indicating otherwise. May I add that those lists don't come from "Media Matters For America" (Fox "News' " new boogeyman) "The Daily Kos", or any other sites reeking of partisanship. I like to quote "FactCheck.org," because they'll slam Obama as well as anyone else who may be riding the bullshit train. But again, rabid haters of anything that stinks of the evil socialist godless left claim that "FactCheck" is too liberal. (????) According to the folks who proudly display their Obama Derangement Syndrome, nothing I can say would make them calm the fuck down. Their hatred of the man is so palpable, if they had physical access to the poor guy, they'd have a good ol' time lynching.
There was a brief time when I had a Facebook "friendship" with a guy who was so right wing I've come to the conclusion he was most likely a Rovian "Americans For Prosperity" plant. We went round and round about just about everything politic. He DID push me to make my arguments stronger, although he had no problem quoting from Koch Bros.think tank reports. He claimed to be a Mormon anti-abortion, homophobic prison guard (liar, he worked for the phone company) who believed that a woman's godly purpose should be to have as many babies as she could. He even hinted to me that my having only one child made me a slacker. During the debt ceiling crisis he started bullying me. I went to bed angry and woke up the next morning angrier. I private messaged him how I felt. His response was, "If I can't get people to change, then I'm wasting my time". Wow. So I should become a Mormon anti-baby killing Tea Party bigot. Yeah, that's gonna happen. I "blocked" him the moment I read that.
In case you didn't already know, "blocking" is a nifty murderous feature of Facebook. You just go into your settings, write the offender's name into your "to be blocked" list and poof, they are GONE. You can't see their posts or comments, send them messages or even view their profile pages ever again. Of course it goes vice-versa. You get a cloak of invisibility as well. Now, I'm not a huge fan of using the block. I think the exchange of ideas is important, no matter how thick some people are. I know it's pretty fruitless with folks who do believe that left leaning people are in league with the devil. I think I've blocked three people, total. The other two were fond of making juvenile personal attacks. Having been bullied to madness as a schoolgirl, I certainly don't need some asshole calling me nasty names as an adult. So I made them begone. When someone blocks a person, their posts and comments are disappeared. It's pretty obvious when reading a thread of comments to see that the dialogue is inconsistent, especially when a person is addressed by name and there's no visible correspondence from the named person. I joined a Facebook cancer support group a couple of weeks ago. I "friended" a gal from the group, an avowed Obama hater. I NEVER brought up my politics in the cancer group. I was supportive and the other members were very sweet and welcomed me graciously. It was a closed group so we could vent whatever we wanted as we dealt with our illness.
The Obama detester posted a lot of spew on her own personal page. She was not an intellectual giant by any measure, I should have known how this would all end up. And it did end, badly. I fact'd her mis-information politely but she ended up chastising me in public, telling me that many of her friends had blocked me because of my "holier than thou" attitude. I private messaged her (I don't deal with any disagreements or real personal stuff in public threads) and told her if she chose to censor my comments, I would totally refrain from participating in the future. The exchange devolved to her last thoughtful three words, "Fuck off, Carolyn!". Then she used the block on me. Oh it gets stupider. Ms. "NOBAMA" went into the cancer group and convinced the other members I was Satan's spawn, calling me a hypocrite and who knows what else. The group administrator told me privately that it was pretty evil stuff and she told "I HATE HATE HATE OBAMA!!!" to get rid of the scummy comments because it kinda looked bad to anyone who wanted to join. In the following few days I proceeded to post a few cancer related articles. Crickets. Nothing. I figured out that "ANYONE BUT OBAMA!!!" had persuaded all the other members to block me. I finally left the group, I'm sure it was good riddance.There is no point in making myself nuts over an obvious shunning for something so totally ridiculous. But then I noticed that on other conservative friend's posts I had also been blocked by several people I didn't even know. How did I become so offensive? I do use humor and sometimes sarcasm. Koch Bros.guy certainly didn't understand sarcasm at all. Is this a conservative trait? Am I just being misunderstood? Or do I get under their skin like scabies? Should I just STFU and accept that nothing I say really matters? Should I end all my comments with " :) " ? (good god!) I honestly thought that using Facebook as a forum for my message/s was a good thing. But then I consider the other people who spoke out who didn't always fare well, think Jesus, JFK, RFK, MLK, Mevers, Malcolm X, amongst many other martyrs throughout history. Perhaps my skin is just too thin.
Politiics is indeed a ruthless game. Our congress hasn't been as divided since the Civil War. I think it's a reflection of the general American public. Passions explode, people are going batshit crazy. We have "Fox News" where the truth goes to die. On the other side we have "Natural News" where they assert if a person eats organic vegan, they will never ever get cancer. Also in the crazytown mashup we have numerous YouTube wackos spouting utter garbage that way too many people take as the gospel truth, photoshopped photos, horribly slanted opinion blogs, web insanity galore. And of course if it's on the internet, it's gotta be true. There's no critical thinking. No logic. Nobody's home and the lights have been OFF since forever. How can one politely opposing voice ever get through all that noise? Opinion has become the new truth. It's all one rollicking WTF? As the band REM sings, "Not everyone can carry the weight of the world". But in another verse the song goes, "Talkin' about the passion." Is it possible to reconcile the two? Do we tolerate injustice in fear that nobody is listening (or worse)? Are we heading towards another oligarchy? Can we continue to ignore climate change whilst railing against our national debt assuming that there will actually be a livable planet to leave to our grandchildren? Should we simply forgo women's health to justify religious zealots? Am I really a "holier than thou" liberal elitist? And if so, does that make me an automatic leper in certain circles? Should I continue to just preach to the choir? Is that all life is, a popularity contest? (Akin to some Facebook users who have like over 4000 "friends") Honestly, I'm in total quandry. Should I continue to risk pissing off some people off so much that they hit the kill switch on me or should I just stay safe and STFU? Maybe one day I'll find the balance. Or not.
I have a few Facebook friends who don't share my progressive views and I do dare to debate the more insipid postings. My rules for dealing with dissenting viewpoints: No personal attacks, no potty mouth, no aggression, use politeness, and back up assertions from non-biased sources, links included. I admit that I am a die-hard liberal. Some people believe that liberalism is a disease. Consider me afflicted. My political leanings evolved from being raised in a Democratic household, and witnessing, over the last 10 years or so, the de-evolution of the Republican party from the semi-sane conservatives into the ideologically rigid and plain whack group of AstroTurf /Tea Party/Ayn Randian hypocrites of today. Not to say that there doesn't exist fringy liberals, I see plenty of postings about chemtrails, HAARP, Fema camps, developing a local currency because the dollar is going to fail, etc, etc. I usually don't respond to that, what could I possibly say? Conspiracy theorists abound on both sides.
What do I take to task? Blatant LIES. Now, I'm not one of the people who totally idolize President Obama. He's human, with all of the attendant failings. His insistence on bi-partisanship makes me nuts. Don't get me started on Afghanistan, health insurance reform compromises, or the accelerated federal assault on marijuana. BUT: If I see a posting about him not being a US Citizen and therefore a Kenyan treasonous impostor man-child who illegally resides in the "White" house, I will counter with some serious logic. When I see a posting claiming that Obama has accomplished absolutely NOTHING during his tenure so far, I post lists indicating otherwise. May I add that those lists don't come from "Media Matters For America" (Fox "News' " new boogeyman) "The Daily Kos", or any other sites reeking of partisanship. I like to quote "FactCheck.org," because they'll slam Obama as well as anyone else who may be riding the bullshit train. But again, rabid haters of anything that stinks of the evil socialist godless left claim that "FactCheck" is too liberal. (????) According to the folks who proudly display their Obama Derangement Syndrome, nothing I can say would make them calm the fuck down. Their hatred of the man is so palpable, if they had physical access to the poor guy, they'd have a good ol' time lynching.
There was a brief time when I had a Facebook "friendship" with a guy who was so right wing I've come to the conclusion he was most likely a Rovian "Americans For Prosperity" plant. We went round and round about just about everything politic. He DID push me to make my arguments stronger, although he had no problem quoting from Koch Bros.think tank reports. He claimed to be a Mormon anti-abortion, homophobic prison guard (liar, he worked for the phone company) who believed that a woman's godly purpose should be to have as many babies as she could. He even hinted to me that my having only one child made me a slacker. During the debt ceiling crisis he started bullying me. I went to bed angry and woke up the next morning angrier. I private messaged him how I felt. His response was, "If I can't get people to change, then I'm wasting my time". Wow. So I should become a Mormon anti-baby killing Tea Party bigot. Yeah, that's gonna happen. I "blocked" him the moment I read that.
In case you didn't already know, "blocking" is a nifty murderous feature of Facebook. You just go into your settings, write the offender's name into your "to be blocked" list and poof, they are GONE. You can't see their posts or comments, send them messages or even view their profile pages ever again. Of course it goes vice-versa. You get a cloak of invisibility as well. Now, I'm not a huge fan of using the block. I think the exchange of ideas is important, no matter how thick some people are. I know it's pretty fruitless with folks who do believe that left leaning people are in league with the devil. I think I've blocked three people, total. The other two were fond of making juvenile personal attacks. Having been bullied to madness as a schoolgirl, I certainly don't need some asshole calling me nasty names as an adult. So I made them begone. When someone blocks a person, their posts and comments are disappeared. It's pretty obvious when reading a thread of comments to see that the dialogue is inconsistent, especially when a person is addressed by name and there's no visible correspondence from the named person. I joined a Facebook cancer support group a couple of weeks ago. I "friended" a gal from the group, an avowed Obama hater. I NEVER brought up my politics in the cancer group. I was supportive and the other members were very sweet and welcomed me graciously. It was a closed group so we could vent whatever we wanted as we dealt with our illness.
The Obama detester posted a lot of spew on her own personal page. She was not an intellectual giant by any measure, I should have known how this would all end up. And it did end, badly. I fact'd her mis-information politely but she ended up chastising me in public, telling me that many of her friends had blocked me because of my "holier than thou" attitude. I private messaged her (I don't deal with any disagreements or real personal stuff in public threads) and told her if she chose to censor my comments, I would totally refrain from participating in the future. The exchange devolved to her last thoughtful three words, "Fuck off, Carolyn!". Then she used the block on me. Oh it gets stupider. Ms. "NOBAMA" went into the cancer group and convinced the other members I was Satan's spawn, calling me a hypocrite and who knows what else. The group administrator told me privately that it was pretty evil stuff and she told "I HATE HATE HATE OBAMA!!!" to get rid of the scummy comments because it kinda looked bad to anyone who wanted to join. In the following few days I proceeded to post a few cancer related articles. Crickets. Nothing. I figured out that "ANYONE BUT OBAMA!!!" had persuaded all the other members to block me. I finally left the group, I'm sure it was good riddance.There is no point in making myself nuts over an obvious shunning for something so totally ridiculous. But then I noticed that on other conservative friend's posts I had also been blocked by several people I didn't even know. How did I become so offensive? I do use humor and sometimes sarcasm. Koch Bros.guy certainly didn't understand sarcasm at all. Is this a conservative trait? Am I just being misunderstood? Or do I get under their skin like scabies? Should I just STFU and accept that nothing I say really matters? Should I end all my comments with " :) " ? (good god!) I honestly thought that using Facebook as a forum for my message/s was a good thing. But then I consider the other people who spoke out who didn't always fare well, think Jesus, JFK, RFK, MLK, Mevers, Malcolm X, amongst many other martyrs throughout history. Perhaps my skin is just too thin.
Politiics is indeed a ruthless game. Our congress hasn't been as divided since the Civil War. I think it's a reflection of the general American public. Passions explode, people are going batshit crazy. We have "Fox News" where the truth goes to die. On the other side we have "Natural News" where they assert if a person eats organic vegan, they will never ever get cancer. Also in the crazytown mashup we have numerous YouTube wackos spouting utter garbage that way too many people take as the gospel truth, photoshopped photos, horribly slanted opinion blogs, web insanity galore. And of course if it's on the internet, it's gotta be true. There's no critical thinking. No logic. Nobody's home and the lights have been OFF since forever. How can one politely opposing voice ever get through all that noise? Opinion has become the new truth. It's all one rollicking WTF? As the band REM sings, "Not everyone can carry the weight of the world". But in another verse the song goes, "Talkin' about the passion." Is it possible to reconcile the two? Do we tolerate injustice in fear that nobody is listening (or worse)? Are we heading towards another oligarchy? Can we continue to ignore climate change whilst railing against our national debt assuming that there will actually be a livable planet to leave to our grandchildren? Should we simply forgo women's health to justify religious zealots? Am I really a "holier than thou" liberal elitist? And if so, does that make me an automatic leper in certain circles? Should I continue to just preach to the choir? Is that all life is, a popularity contest? (Akin to some Facebook users who have like over 4000 "friends") Honestly, I'm in total quandry. Should I continue to risk pissing off some people off so much that they hit the kill switch on me or should I just stay safe and STFU? Maybe one day I'll find the balance. Or not.
First off, Happy Mother's Day. Second you probably ARE too thin skinned for how the world is these days, but then who'd want to be the walking callous you'd have to be in order to not be affected? Third, Facebook can be used for "good" or "evil", both of which I have experienced before. I was recently blocked when my friends and I stood up on behalf of my husband, who is just now getting his life back after a brutal cancer treatment. I wrote to you before. The person said something really shitty on his status and friends called her on her post. She then proceeded to personally attack my husband on her own page which amounted to a lynching mob. Now others have blocked me and friends based on what she wrote. Wow. It's a jungle out there. Facebook has been a quandary for me too: no one is actually face to face you see, there is a protective sense of anonymity, it's friendship light, also an informational fount, a source of laughter, inspiration. It's a way to feel in touch which others when you feel isolated. Cancer can do that, make you feel so Frickin' isolated. I'm only the caregiver, but I've felt it. My husband didn't say anything when all that FB shit went down, but he told me it bothered him. So I dealt with some of it on my page and good friends were also very supportive on theirs. And that's the point, GOOD friends make good FACEBOOK pals. You classify yourself as a hardcore liberal but it sounds like you just care about your world and it's people. Sometimes titles make others automatically treat you a certain way. I think if you have to tippy toe around to not risk pissing people off then you are not really being true to yourself. I've done it both ways: suck it up or blow it out. I gotta say that the latter does come with fallout sometimes, but I usually feel better for supporting myself or in the example above, my husband. We can do so politely. If someone has a problem with that, it's something going on with them. An ugly go-for-the-jugular reaction is a reflection of that person. I loathe the kill switch of being blocked because it is a form of ostracism and we are after all social creatures, but in the end, self-expression and practicing it is healthier, most likely for you and certainly for my husband, who tends to just hold everything in. The MD he is seeing in SF believes in the mind-body connection, that there is a "cancer personality". I take it you're a sensitive artist type so you are probably getting more information than what is actually presented. People who are artistic have to choose their environment wisely. You are probably working at a very high vibration. Have you read "Anatomy of the Spirit"? Carolyn, I have many sources and recommendations for you. Not all of them medical in the conventional sense. I would like to share (I don't know exactly why) what helped my husband. My name is Carla and if you want to communicate directly with me, you may use my email: carlotti66@gmail.com. I also have an FB page and if you wanna be friends, we could try that, though it's currently deactivated for reasons previously touch upon. We might have a six degrees of separation thing going because I actually stumbled upon your blog through some FB post or share and have been checking in on you from time to time to see how you're doing. You must know that it's NOT you, that there are survivorship communities, who will not throw you under the bus (sounds like you joined the jackal chapter). By the way, loved the Wig of the Day thing you wrote, my husband both laughed and teared up when I read it to him; I think I may have mentioned that in a previous comment.
ReplyDeleteLet your family and friends love you lots. And I'll throw in a "God bless you" too, for the heck of it.
Carla
Miss the snarky non-pc, bloggy opining. Sending positive energy as always and hoping you're just taking a break from writing to go run naked through the grassy valley (in a psychedelic wig, if necessary). Or something. Patty Smith just danced barefoot. Lots of love and good will your way.
ReplyDeleteActually, recent events have conspired to produce a piece about the creative spirit and the ecstatic/horribleness of it all. It will be published today. Be warned.
ReplyDelete